By Timmy Tuner (Tatertot) on Tuesday, February 01, 2000 - 05:41 pm:

Has anyone tried to get on one of the new breed of game shows ala "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?"

I tried the Millionaire phone quizzes for about a week and never got through all three questions. Who knew plays would be such an important topic? I don't watch plays (often), don't read them (often), and usually don't even see the movie. Yet, I got at least three times questions about them. Argh.

By Kalei Awana (Kalei) on Tuesday, February 01, 2000 - 09:41 pm:

Yea I've tried that phone quiz a couple of times and blew the last question (unless they don't tell you you got more than one wrong) Those things are tough...I can't imagine the morons that make it onto the show can answer questions like I get. I suppose it's a pressure thing.

By Jordan Running (Alf2x) on Tuesday, February 01, 2000 - 09:54 pm:

Yeah.. I think Regis is a sadistic bastard when it comes to giving away money. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

By Larry Smilg (Larrys) on Wednesday, February 02, 2000 - 11:05 am:

I haven't tried one of those, but I tried out for Teen Jeopardy (when I was a teen). They had a random pick of letters sent in, and I went to their test. There was a 100 question test which they graded it on the spot. Nine of about 100 people passed (I did) then they had the people who passed do some unscored mock games - I s'pose they wanted to see how you played. They never called back.

Maybe I'll try this one. I watched 21 last week & thought it was pretty cool.

By Timmy Tuner (Tatertot) on Wednesday, February 02, 2000 - 01:23 pm:

It'd be awesome to see an actual rocket scientist on Millionaire! Those phone quizzes are hard, though - it's the "put these 4 things in order" like they use to pick a new contestant, you only have 10 seconds, and only one chance - you can't change an answer once it's put in. That, and there's lots of questions about plays. "Put these four plays in order of their geographic setting, from east to west." That's one of the questions I got. Argh. I'll start trying again, just hoping I get a decent set of questions...

By Nate Heasley (Nheasley) on Wednesday, February 02, 2000 - 01:34 pm:

What's the phone # for Millionaire? I heard that there are specific hours you have to call - true? What should I expect if I get through?

By Timmy Tuner (Tatertot) on Wednesday, February 02, 2000 - 02:27 pm:

The URL is http://abc.go.com/primetime/millionaire/mill_contestant.html
for all that stuff. They'll ask for your birthdate and the last 4 digits of your SSN. This is because they allow only one call per day, and that's how they verify. You'll have three questions - write down in advance on a piece of paper:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Do that three times. You'll need those so you can see your question answers (unless you have photographic memory). This will shave off at least a few seconds off your time, or at least it helped me. I've never made it through all three questions, so I don't know exactly what happens after that. I'm assuming they'll ask for more info. You get entered into a drawing if you do. Those who get drawn play a playoff game (I'm assuming over the phone). The top ten in that game are the ones sitting to the side on each episode hoping to get on the show.

By Nate Heasley (Nheasley) on Wednesday, February 02, 2000 - 03:12 pm:

Excellent. I'll call today (and tomorrow, and the day after...)

Too bad none of us have any areas of expertise that would be useful for lifelines; can you imagine Regis asking "What does the acronymn TCPIP stand for?" or "Who is most responsible for inventing the internet? Was it a) Bill Gates b) Larry Roberts c) Al Gore or d) Steve Jobs".

Maybe I sell us all short, I'm sure some you guys have some good science knowledge. Too bad they don't have a lifeline for chat rooms/bulletin boads.

By Jim Leftwich (Jimwich) on Wednesday, February 02, 2000 - 05:56 pm:

Heh heh. Yeah, I've been fascinated by this show and it's evil structure. First off, I'm convinced that the lightning round (or whatever they call it where the ten people compete) are very often the kinds of questions only someone that watches current sitcoms (or similiarly banal fare) could answer. This weeds out people that are likely to know how far the earth is from the sun, etc..

By Jordan Running (Alf2x) on Wednesday, February 02, 2000 - 07:03 pm:

That's very plausable -- the question they ask is something completely the opposite of what the rest of the questions will be, so whoever answers the first question quickest will be the least likely to be able to answer the rest of the questions. Clever. Of course, that means that the person who wins the Big Money will have to be either very lucky or very well-rounded.

By Kalei Awana (Kalei) on Wednesday, February 02, 2000 - 07:27 pm:

I for one got apoplectic when some a**hole's question was:

What was Luke Skywalker's home planet called?

And the idiot needed a lifeline!! I think the question was at least the $32K one too. He had a shot at getting the million if he hadn't needed that lifeline.

Also, did anybody see the creepy guy that said he works from home researching the Internet all day long? He also runs a wrestling fantasy league. He gave computer nerds a bad name...long winded on all his answers, acted like a know it all...I never did get to see how much he ended up with, but I remember hoping he'd blow an easy one just so he'd shut up. (From the way Reege was acting I bet he felt the same way...hehe)

By Jordan Running (Alf2x) on Wednesday, February 02, 2000 - 07:58 pm:

I just had an idea.. a prime-time million-dollar spelling bee! "For $64,000, your word is 'Khrushchev.'"

By Timmy Tuner (Tatertot) on Wednesday, February 02, 2000 - 08:03 pm:

How about the guy who had to ask the audience what rhymed with "Two Fish?"

Or the poor sucker who didn't know what Jack Horner pulled out of a pie with his thumb and didn't use a lifeline, thus losing at the $100 level?

By Jim Leftwich (Jimwich) on Thursday, February 03, 2000 - 12:35 am:

Wow Jordan. You're right on! I think a high-dollar spelling bee would be a huge hit. You know the ones they have with the kids... They only ever show the very last round, which is where all the excitement is. It's got to be in the works. If not, you should do a "treatment" or whatever else they call such an initial description in hooeywood, and go get Tori Spelling's dad to bankroll you!

By Jim Leftwich (Jimwich) on Thursday, February 03, 2000 - 12:42 am:

How could you not know what Jack Horner pulled out of a pie? Unless maybe you were one of those kids born with just a brainstem?

I just don't get this show. I called in today, and though I answered the first question correctly I must've just missed the time deadline. I thought I answered pretty fast and then the voice said time's up, so I'm confused.

I'm pretty sure the correct chronological order would be:

The Emancipation Declaration
Hitler's rise to Chancellor
Alaska's statehood
Challenger disaster

I think I'm going to keep trying. If I win a million dollars, I'm going to become a geek deluxe.

By Mark Crane (Mecran01) on Thursday, February 03, 2000 - 08:07 am:

Yeah, I was watching it last night. It seems like you'd have to comatose or a real choke artist (I'm in the second category) to not walk away with $32,000. That would *almost* pay of my student loans.

By Bruce Dykes (Bkd) on Friday, February 04, 2000 - 08:09 pm:

The only TV game shows I have respect for are Jeopardy and the beeb's Mastermind.

No lifelines, no new car, no home version of the popular game show, just an oversized engraved crystal goblet for the grand champion and the amazed and dubfounded awe of your peers for even making it to the show.

The host was a POW in WW2, and designed the set after his experiences being interrogated by the Germans.

My favorite misuse of a lifeline was when a guy was asked what color you get when you mix blue and yellow. He asked the audience. Am I alone in wanting to put in a wrong answer if I were in the audience?

By Mark Crane (Mecran01) on Friday, February 04, 2000 - 10:57 pm:

What's "the beeb's Mastermind"? Sounds really cool. That blue/yellow thing cracks me up. I wouldn't just put in the wrong anser, I'd take of my shoe and hurl it at the person. Unless, of course, he was colorblind.

By Jim Leftwich (Jimwich) on Saturday, February 05, 2000 - 02:19 am:

After playing the phone game for a couple of days I'm convinced the challenge is ALL in just getting on the show and into the center with the Reeg.

But it doesn't make sense. The phone questions, while not that hard, have to be answered pretty fast. I got stumped, evidently placing the birthdates of three people I did know and one I didn't. He's probably the chef on Regis and Kathy Lee or a soap star, or someone similarly ridiculous. I don't get how people unfamiliar with Jack Horner's pie exploits and the additive nature of primary colors gets past the phone quiz. Maybe they vary them and every now and then slip in some real mulligans.

Aaaarghhh! I want my shot at those stupid questions, dangit!

By Jordan Running (Alf2x) on Saturday, February 05, 2000 - 03:21 am:

As I recall, there was a home version of the popular game show Jeopardy. Several, in fact. I still have the computer version from 1992 (SECOND EDITION!).. it was a great game, but then I broke it somehow so the correct answer is never right. If that makes sense. Also fun was that game, I think it was called Concentration, where you had to flip over tiles that had the name of a prize on them, and if you got two tiles of the same prize, you got that prize, and the disappearing tiles eventually reveal a word puzzle which you solve. Then you have to match the names of cars to win a car. The early nineties computer version is great fun.. you can win a Nissan Sentra or a Chrysler LeBaron. Yay!

By Mark Crane (Mecran01) on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 07:02 am:

Ok, so who watched "who wants to marry a millionaire"? I surfed past it a couple of times, but didn't see the actual ceremony. From what I heard, the "winner" was pretty freaked out. Who wouldn't be. I'm still bitter that they rejected my application.

By Timmy Tuner (Tatertot) on Sunday, February 20, 2000 - 02:12 pm:

I didn't watch it, but I was going to try and catch the last half hour just to see who this ass was who was doing this.

The Smoking Gun has a piece on him now, though. Bet she's saying "oops!" now....

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/millionaire/millionaire.shtml

By Jim Leftwich (Jimwich) on Sunday, February 20, 2000 - 08:02 pm:

I think it'd be a lot funnier if it were renamed, "Who Wants to be a Whore?"

This is truly television at its finest, boiling society down to its very essence.

But it could still stand some improvement, maybe inserting some "decoy" contestants that are really standins for frozen beef carcasses. A little of that "Let's Make A Deal" risk to the millionaire thrown in.

Plus, this would also give the producers the opportunity to use that great sound effect, "WAH WAh Wah wahhhh..." when the millionaire is forced to marry the meat!

By Larry Smilg (Larrys) on Monday, February 21, 2000 - 12:16 am:

I think if the Smoking Gun piece gets larger publicity, the producers & the bride will be hearing "wahwahwah..."

By Timmy Tuner (Tatertot) on Monday, February 21, 2000 - 04:47 am:

It was on my local news tonight, so I think it's probably going to be in the papers tomorrow.

By Bruce Dykes (Bkd) on Monday, February 21, 2000 - 01:00 pm:

There was an indepth discussion about the show on CNN's Burden of Proof (http://cnn.com/burden).

They do video on demand, so (almost) everybody can see it.

The most interesting point to come out of the show was the possibility that the prenup might unenforceable, primarily due to the lack of detailed disclosure.

By Gareth Branwyn (Gareth) on Monday, February 21, 2000 - 01:28 pm:

And I wonder if the wife could sue Fox. I don't know what sort of contract they made her sign, but they interviewed a bunch of millionaires to choose this guy. Seems like they could have done a better screening job.

By Bruce Dykes (Bkd) on Monday, February 21, 2000 - 07:17 pm:

Opinion is divided on that point. On the one hand, the women knew they were getting a pig in poke, on the other hand, Fox may have some disclosure obligation, on the gripping hand, these are only allegations, not a conviction, not an indictment, not even an arrest, so it's probably not serious enough to warrant disclosure. Or maybe it is.

As I said, opinion is divided.

By Jim Leftwich (Jimwich) on Monday, February 21, 2000 - 07:33 pm:

And two million bucks certainly isn't that much here in California. It would mean a couple two bedroom bungalows here in the Silicon Valley.

Next up: Who Wants To Marry a Thousandaire?

By Gareth Branwyn (Gareth) on Monday, March 06, 2000 - 10:37 pm:

In case you saw the episode of Millionaire where the comedian-turned-telemarketer lost his chance at a quarter-mil after fellow comedian Will Durst blew a Phone-a-Friend, here's what's happened since.

From the highly-recommended TVBarn.com:


THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
March 6-12, 2000


Poor Will Durst. The comedian, Internet columnist and
host of the PBS series "Livelyhood" had to go begging
for publicity in the past. But when he returned home to
San Francisco after screwing up the $500,000 question
for his friend Rudy Reber on "Who Wants to Be a
Millionaire" the other week, he found 86 inquiries from
the press on his voice mail.

What he didn't know -- and it's probably just as well --
is that he had also become public enemy No. 1 online at
the "Millionaire" chat board, as the evil man with the
wrong answer who cost his so-called pal 218,000 clams.

So, Will, who is Rudy Reber and how did you wind up as
his phone-a-friend on the night of Feb. 17?

"Rudy used to be a comedian back when we were all fellow
soldiers in the comedy wars in the early 1980s here in
San Francisco," said the keeper of www.willdurst.com
told TV Barn. "Rudy had been a good bud. Me and my wife
Debi had gone over to his house a couple of times for
dinner, and versa visa. Then Rudy and his wife Tina
split up, and we didn't see much of him. Next time I saw
him he was a used car salesman in Portland and was
trying to get back into comedy. But they didn't have a
lot of open mikes in Portland ...

"That was at least three, four years ago. And then (last
month) I get a call out of the blue. I was going to be
in Chicago appearing at Zanies. Debi called me and said,
'Rudy Reber just called. He's going be on "Who Wants to
Be a Millionaire" and do you want to be one of his
lifelines?' So I said sure, no problem, what's the big
deal?"

Lowering his voice, Durst added, "I didn't think he had
a chance in hell of making it through the process. I was
wrong. I was *very* wrong." But on with the story:

"So I call Rudy, who's living in Virginia. He tells me
all I have to do is be by the phone for two 3-hour
periods on Thursday. I was in the middle of a big
writing project anyhow, so I stayed in the house.
Actually, I was in a 'comedy condo' -- the ubiquitous
comedy condo where all of the comedians at that club
stay."

(I'd never heard of a comedy condo, but apparently
Zanies, Improv and all the other clubs each have one.
It's cheaper than giving out-of-town comics a hotel
room. Durst passed along this helpful hint for all the
aspiring comedians out there: "Beware the brown towels
at the comedy condo. And buy your own mayonnaise.")

"So I get the call from a little girl (at ABC), I can't
remember her name. They call in the morning at about 11
and they say, 'Are you going to be near a phone later
today?' I say yes. They say they needed me by the phone
from 3 to 6 p.m. Central time.

"Three-thirty rolls around and there's a call to say
'Your friend Rudy is on the hot seat.' I answered the
phone on the first ring and I just said 'Durst!',
because that's the way I answer my phone. She said to
me, 'No, you're supposed to answer it on the third ring
like we told you, because the next person on the phone
will be Regis.'

"See, I never thought he'd make it through the 10-person
speed order quiz," Durst confessed. "He wanted to list
Ben Stein, but he wasn't able to for some reason." (It
would've been a massive conflict of interest; Disney has
its hands in both shows, and many of the original
"Millionaire" writers were borrowed from "Win Ben
Stein's Money.")

"So the phone rings. I wait three times, but I figure
it's been 45 minutes -- no way has my good friend, smart
Mensa member Rudy, made it for 45 minutes. But I hadn't
accounted for show stoppages and so forth.

"Sure enough, it's Regis. I answer the phone, 'Durst!'
He says '*Durst?* We're looking for *Will* Durst!' Then
he says it's the $500,000 question."

The question was, "Who directed Michael Jackson's video
'Bad'?"

"Now I'm not a big music guy. I have 10 presets on my
car radio and not one of them is music. But this was a
music question I knew! I was so excited for him. I was
going to help him out! Oh man, was I confident. I was
*very* confident."

Durst told Reber the correct answer was John Landis.
Reber decided to risk his wad and answer the question.
He said Landis.

The answer was Martin Scorsese. (Landis directed
"Thriller.")

"They put me on hold. I was able to hear it, but I
couldn't say anything. I couldn't go, 'Rudy, I'm sorry.'
Plus, Regis took an inordinate amount of time. He
stopped for the longest time and then he said, 'No, the
answer is C.' And I just screamed. People in the comedy
condo heard me screaming. And I didn't have Rudy's
number.

"Meanwhile, I couldn't breathe for 48 hours. I didn't
tell people at the comedy club. They just thought I was
unusually morose. The news media had no problem telling
the story in 120 words. But I couldn't."

"Then Rudy calls on Saturday. He says, 'Don't worry
about it, buddy! I had a great time! I'm getting out of
telemarketing! I couldn't ask for any better publicity!'

"Well, it turns out -- *I* could!"

By accepting Durst's wrong answer, Reber blew the chance
to keep his winnings of $250,000. He went home with
$32,000 instead. Durst has already figured out that he
can make it up to Reber by sending him $20 a month ...
for 908 years.

"We speak every couple of days now," says Durst, adding
with a laugh just slightly tinged with bitterness: "He's
my counselor."

Durst gave me Reber's phone number in the Newport News
area. I called. Sure enough, the first thing out of
Reber's mouth were compassionate words for his hangdog
friend Will.

"The poor guy," Reber said. "He's been getting abused
for a week. That poor bastard. I felt so crappy for
him." (The show aired one week after its taping, on Feb.
24.)

My first question to Reber is, why Durst? And why call
him for *that* question?

"I've known Will a long time," said Reber, who had
chosen chose two comics, a deejay and two relatives as
his phone-a-friends. "My brother's a Ph.D., but he
wouldn't know a Michael Jackson video from his left
foot. My brother-in-law is a lawyer. He knows law, he
knows art history. The deejay was a classic rock guy."

But Durst knew a lot of pop culture history, so that's
how he became the go-to. Only after the taping did Reber
realize -- of course! -- that the deejay probably knew
the correct answer to the "Bad" question. (And, as Reber
later confirmed, he did.)

Reber is a telemarketer these days, but he is well known
in West Coast comedy circles. Mavis Leno produced a
horoscope for him 15 years ago that predicted he would
one day become a writer. Reber even had the singular
honor of being dissed once on stage by none other than
Rick Rockwell, the man who infamously hooked up with
Darva Conger last month on Fox's "Who Wants to Marry a
Multi-Millionaire?"

"I had gone down to San Diego about ten years ago. I
went down on a day's notice to do a comedy competition
at the Improv. All of the L.A. guys were there.
Afterward I'm standing up there in the back while
they're tallying up the count on stage. I wasn't No. 5,
4, 3 or 2, so I knew I had won, because I knew I was
definitely in the top five. Sure enough, I was No. 1 --
but Rockwell, who was the emcee, just said, 'Who the
hell is THIS?' Because he thought it was going to be one
of his L.A. pals. And I thought, 'F--- you.'"

Of Rockwell the comedian, Reber said, "People who've
seen his act know why he got out of comedy."

But after his "Millionaire" appearance, Reber will
likely use what winnings he has to get out of
telemarketing and try a fresh start, possibly in radio.
An old friend, "Dennis Miller Live" producer David
Feldman, called him up and said, "You've got to get into
radio," and Reber is seriously considering that.

As for Durst, he's thinking of getting into the witness
protection program.

"I haven't seen the show yet. I can't. It's too painful.
Someone has taped it for me. Maybe in five, six years
we'll look back on this and laugh ...

"Rosie O'Donnell made it even worse for me because she
was a phone-a-friend and she offered to pay the
difference if she was wrong. Thanks for raising the bar,
Rosie!"

Durst wrote a first-person account of his misadventure
for the new issue of TV Guide. He's promised Reber the
freelance money from the article. The two of them may
also surface this week on an "Extra" segment. We're not
sure if he gave TV Barn a print exclusive -- I'm an
undisguised fan of the "Livelyhood" series -- but we're
pretty sure Will won't be returning most of the 86 press
inquiries he received. He's peeved about the way he's
treated by the rest of the media.

"The AP called me a `famous comedian,'" he grumbled.
"They've never called me a famous comedian before. I
couldn't get a story written about me -- until this."

***

There was lots of reader reaction from the first week of
Letterman's return and on his guest hosts, but I don't have
the space to include it here. So high thee to
tvbarn.com at your soonest. Also, for those of you who
relished reader John Christensen's 6,200-word account of
his stint in the "Millionaire" hot seat, we've got an
equally epic retelling by another reader of his need for
"Greed." That'll be up on Thursday. And on Wednesday,
read about "Campaign 2000" as it was played out in
late-night TV. All that and so much more on TV Barn's
Web site.

***

This just in: Governor George W. Bush appeared on the
"Tonight Show" Monday and -- with not a little help from
the host, Jay Leno -- redeemed that embarrassing
televised pratfall he took last week on "Late Show with
David Letterman."

In the interview (details of which were shared with TV
Barn Monday night), the Governor was played out by the
band to the tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas" and was
serenaded the rest of the 10-minute segment by Leno. Jay
threw so many softballs during the interview, he may
need to ice his arm after the taping.

Leno opened with his toughest challenge, asking Dubya if
he found it hard to be his own man, standing in the
shadow of his presidential pop. Bush replied, "Well, I
realized when I became governor of Texas I would inherit
half my father's friends and all of his enemies." But in
a word -- no.

The next question from Jay compared Bush's youth with
Gore's. "Al Gore looks like he's been running for
president since the eighth grade," joked Leno, who then
asked: Had the governor ever stopped himself from
opening another beer during his college days because he
thought it might hurt his future political ambitions?

"No," came Bush's one-word reply -- which produced more
applause than anything that transpired between him and
Letterman five nights earlier.

The rest of the grilling included hard-hitting questions
about Bush's wife, his governorship of the Texas Rangers
baseball team, and whether "the McCain thing" has made
Bush a stronger candidate.

And just so I don't come off like a total grouch, there
is an amusing exchange about the governor's penchant for
penny-pinching in his youth. So tune in for that.

***

By Kalei Awana (Kalei) on Tuesday, March 07, 2000 - 12:35 am:

218 large...ouch. I knew about Landis and Thriller, too. Some of those questions on Millionaire are downright sadistic!

By Mark Crane (Mecran01) on Tuesday, March 11, 2003 - 11:58 pm:

Memories. Sometimes I think I'm going nuts because things that happened 2-3 years ago feel as recent as stuff from six months ago. I hope it's not early-onset Alzheimer's.

Anyway, just thought I'd threadjack because there's nothing sadder than clicking on "new messages" and getting the goose egg.

By Timmy Tuner (Tatertot) on Wednesday, March 12, 2003 - 11:28 am:

It does seem odd to go back and see us getting excited about TV like Millionaire. Is that even on anymore? Survivor is, and I still watch it, but this season I'm having a really hard time liking any of the characters. They're all so... not Richard.

By Mark Crane (Mecran01) on Wednesday, March 12, 2003 - 03:27 pm:

The creation of Richard through editing, etc. was brilliant. I don't think they're ever going to surpass that.